No, I didn't get kidnapped

So even though I'm writing this while completely exhausted and already laying in bed, I decided I haven't been very good about keeping up with my blog so why not jot down a quick entry.

It's been an interesting summer I must say...

I suppose I should do this chronologically (as best as I can recall)
After getting kicked out, my boyfriend and I looked for several places to live, and even found a few we liked. I even got offers to stay with people while I found a place, but I couldn't do that. Truth is, I never left. That's right, after all my bitching and moaning, here I am, in the same bedroom as when I wrote my last post. Though I know it may be anticlimactic to think that after my fight for my right to speak my mind, I'm sitting here accepting the way things are, truth is, I'm not. Nope, I'm still looking for a place and so is he. We even started looking at foreclosed homes and land for sale. That's right, in the face of adversity, we're looking to go above and beyond to better things. Excelsior! (Sorry, just got to see Stan Lee)

So my mother and I had a lengthy conversation and I've decided to stay here for a while. She thinks I'm staying until the end of college, but I'm just staying until my bills are paid and I have enough money aside to move out.

Speaking of college, I'm about to go back at the end of this week and the summer could not have gone by any faster :( I only got to go to the beach once or twice, though I'm hoping to go tomorrow. I worked Monday to Friday day shifts every day all summer and still didn't get ahead on my bills :( The job (I won't mention where) is completely stressful and I've actually cried a few times. I get screamed and sworn at for minor things and it isn't worth it. I'm looking at a new (less stressful) job and I think the interview went well. I should know by the end of the week.

Spent quite a bit of the summer trying to fill up my school schedule for the fall, and guess what, with school starting in 3 days, I only just got my last class. Many of the courses I needed to take aren't being offered this year and so I have to wait even longer to graduate (those who know me, know I was supposed to graduate at the end of this year) and I'm not pleased. So now I'm taking random filler classes in order to stay full time. UMass needs to get themselves together. I'm sick of paying $10k a year just to pay them. This is ridiculous already.

In more ridiculous school news, I finally got a chance to check out a school I've been looking at since high school. I looked at two graduate programs and I'm thinking of doing the one I originally wanted back in the day. Their PA program has ridiculous standards and is a 3 year masters program... I might as well do the extra year somewhere else and then get a PhD...

School is frustrating.

Other news (for a quick blog post, this is getting quite lengthy)
After long debating dropping the cash, I purchased some expensive, bright cosmetics. They're great, don't get me wrong, it's just that afterwards I ended up reading some reviews and seeing some color swatches and realizing they were just repackaged... I won't mention any names...

So out of the bad came some good! I decided that hey, if this person can get away with repackaging and making a fortune, I could probably make a business out of making creative, but wearable blends. I won't reveal too much now because I'm still in the early phases, but I'm working on colors and lines at the moment and am hoping to start production as early as the beginning of next year. :D Super excited!

I'm looking for feedback from people of all age groups, styles, skin tones, everything!
What colors do you look for in eye makeup that are difficult to find or that you wish you could have?
Do you like a matte (flat color) or shimmery/shiny finish on your eye makeup?
etc.
Basically, tell me what you look for and want!

Well, I'm pretty exhausted, I shall have to finish the updates sometime soon.
For now, take care!

- Crash

View from the bottom

Well this has been an interesting week, :sigh:. Where do I begin? So during one of my oh so frequent fights with my mother, she decided to hit me, so I did what any angsty daughter does... I posted my anger on facebook. Well it turns out someone told my mother about my desire to "break her arms" so she wouldn't hit me. Turns out my mother didn't take very kindly to that. Her reaction was to, I dunno, kick my ass out. -_- I wouldn't mind it so much if I only had one of those, what are they called? Oh yeah, a real job. On top of that, it wasn't so much the getting kicked out so much as the barrage I received verbally from my grandmother who proceeded to call me a monster and a prostitute and tell me that I'm a horrible person who my mother has had the displeasure of having to suffer with since the day I was born because of what a wonderful person she is. I was also told how lucky I was to be born of my mother and not of my grandmother or else I would have been beaten every day of my life since I was born so I would know what was good... call me crazy, but maybe that's where things went wrong in the first place. I'd also like to mention that my crazy ass family actually believes my mother when she says I elbowed her across the face and broke her earring... yeah because that's what everyone calls it when someone puts their arms in front of their face to not get punched...

Anyway
Now I have 36 days to not only find a decent job, but find a place to live and a way to survive... we'll see how this goes. I'll keep you posted readers.

Wish me luck!
- Crash

Never eaten a crayon!! Your missing out :p

I shall have to find one and indulge in it's delicious waxiness lol

Ask me anything :)

Summer begins....

So I think I can officially say it's summer. I mean, I know it's not summer summer, but it's summer enough for me. Though work and finances aren't where I want them to be right now at least I'm done with school for now. My grandmother and aunt arrived well yesterday and it should prove to be an interesting next 6 weeks. My grandmother always brings a lot of peace (much needed in this case) to my household, so that will be nice. There's also the added bonus that the end of her trip will also be taking my family (minus me) back to Brazil. I'll have a nice quiet house for a while at least. They drive me crazy, but I know I'll miss them, at least I'll have Jack and Dexter for company.

Today was a good day overall, family loves my boyfriend which is a perk, mom has calmed down a little, the weather was nice, and I'm back to designing which is fantastic. I'm going to use the time my grandmother is here to work on not only my curtains for my room (which I am in dire need of thanks to my creepy neighbors), but also my Halloween costume as well as a few pieces I'm designing. It's a lot cheaper to make dresses for summer than to buy them, plus you get the added bonus of a better fit and it being exactly what you wanted. Same goes for things like jewelry, I make very basic designs, but at least I know I like them. Which leads me to another great things this weekend...
I had wanted an agate necklace like some I had seen from top designers, the only problem was that even the cheapest ones I could find from designers no one had heard of, were several hundred dollars! I knew I couldn't afford one from Gucci (even though I was in love with it) because it was several thousand dollars, so I asked my grandfather for his help. The area of Brazil my family is from is rich with mines, from gold to jewels, it's fertile with beautiful things. My grandfather is good friends with a jeweler. I sent him the designs for what I was hoping to get and this weekend it came to fruition! I received two BEAUTIFUL agate necklaces as well as a keychain with the same cut. I can't wait to wear them!

Well, it's been a long day, so I'm off to bed.

Wishing everyone a wonderful start to summer.

- Crash

What is your favorite color? What color best describes your mood? Have you ever eaten a crayon? 0.o

My favorite color is a.d.d. lol I have a few favorites, but I think my top three would have to be purple, red, and black. My mood would be a purple. It can be very subtle and mellow, but change the hue and it can be bright and bubbly or dark and smoldering. I find that purple is one of those colors that can be very versatile. And no, I've never eaten a crayon... though I have wondered about the macaroni and cheese one...

Ask me anything :)

So Close to Freedom

So I've been working my butt off and I feel like it never ends, but tomorrow is my last final of the semester. Granted I still have to do my CNA training this summer, but at least it's a much needed break. Come this Fall I want to have a brand new start. This past year has been really rough in many ways, but I'm moving past it, things can always be worse and they can always get better too. This coming Fall is going to better, it has to be. I'm going to try to use this Summer to regain my sanity and to have some fun, something that having 8 consecutive semesters since high school has not really allowed for. After tomorrow I'm really hoping for a new chapter of my life. There are a lot of things that are going to change. Mantra for the next year: Be the change you want to see.

To all those who are bogged down by school, work, family, or any other stresses, this too shall pass. Keep strong.

- Crash

Do you have any scars on your body? If so, how'd you get them?

Plenty of scars, and they're all from different things. Some are burns, some are falls, some are random cuts, etc

Ask me anything :)

What's the origin of your name?

It's Greek and means Loyal and Royal

Ask me anything :)

Ninja Training

So today was a crazzzy day. Started out decent enough, didn't get much sleep last night and had a weird dream, but still decent enough start. Did a few things around the house and then had a fight with my mother (what else is new). Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that I finally got to watch Ninja Assassin, it was AMAZING! Then my day got improved again because I've decided that my boyfriend is the coolest nerd ever. In his six years of karate it turns out he learned how to use nunchuks.... o.O! He looked so cool doing it too! Anyway, he's been teaching me a little MMA here and there with some self defense and he's taught me a few karate stances, but tonight was by far the coolest thing he's ever taught me. Granted I've got a decent welt on my elbow (and I hit myself in the head), but I started learning the basics of nunchuks and it is VERY exciting. I was joking with him that I'd probably be the clumsiest ninja ever, my clan would be attacking somewhere and I would trip and fall and give us away lol. He said he gives me three months until I can handle them properly, it took him four. We'll have to see how much perseverance and patience I have. I'll keep you posted.

For now I'm off to bed, hopefully I'll get some decent sleep tonight.

- Crash

Oh what a night

Yesterday was, I swear, eons longer than a meager 24 hours. Aside from finals and work and being generally exhausted, my night was capped off with an E.R. visit with my love :( then I finally got a small amount of sleep after 22 1/2 hours being awake. Today I finally got back to being a redhead and spent a little time with my love. He's more than excited that his car is back up and running and I'm more than excited that we might get to do a little racing :D !

Hopefully today will continue to be a good day, might rent Ninja Assassin, it'll probably kick ass. I'll probably post on it later.

- Crash

Would you rather have the ability to fly, or the ability to breathe underwater?

Breathe underwater. You can hang glide and parasail and all those other things, but there really isn't any great way to really explore the water without some sort of hindrance. Besides, I'm a swimmer, do you know how much time I'd be able to cut off? lol

Ask me anything :)

Would you rather swim in a pool or the ocean?

That's really tough, it depends on my mood.

Ask me anything :)

What's your dream car?

OMG there are so many. I love the old vw bugs, always have. I've wanted several models of stangs, I lovvvvve supercars like Ferraris, Lambos, and Lotus. I really don't think I can pick, there are so many more too

Ask me anything :)

What's your favorite city?

London <3

Ask me anything :)

Captivity, Day 2

Today hasn't been as god awful as yesterday was. I haven't seen Bitchzilla today, which means Tokyo might be in for a fair bit of trouble lol. I had to cancel my Newport plans since I can't leave the house, but at least the weather was crappy anyway. Call it sour grapes if you will. Also this gives me a bit of time to study for my exams, so I guess that's a good thing. My boyfriend came over and brought me little caesar's yay! Got to watch Hercules for the millionth time :)

Lots of stuff to do today still. I have a room to clean, laundry to do, a car to clean, reports to write (that might get pushed til tomorrow), and finals to study for.

Wish me luck!

- Crash

Who was the best teacher you've ever had?

Ms. Theberge :) second grade!

Ask me anything :)

Captivity, Day 1

FAIR WARNING: this is going to be a rant

My mother has absolutely lost her mind. After having a ridiculous fight with me over a papaya and saying that I was rude she proceeded to scream at me. When I told her something must have pissed her off before she screamed "YOU'RE WHAT PISSED ME OFF!!!!!!!!!" ... okay well there obviously was some sort of catalyst which put you in this horrible fucking mood... y'know before you saw me. I get that it's your house and you wanted me to ask permission for my friends to be over... it's not like they were staying overnight. Is it really such a big deal if they come over for a little coffee and conversation? They don't have to ask their parents.

Also, do me a favor, don't say you want to pay for college for me and then hold it over my head. Either you want to do it to help me out or you don't. Simple as that. If I tell you not to pay for it and you insist on it anyway, don't hold it over my head saying "the least you could do is..." all the time. Here's a simple solution... stop paying. Same goes for any other bills you're helping me with. Don't use my financial situation as a sort of tether for your controlling ways. When I end up moving out and never speaking to you, you'll wonder why.

I've got a plan in order people, so I don't want to hear about how I should stop bitching and get to work, I know that. I needed to vent all this crap. And I have to know, am I crazy? Or has she really gone off the deep end? She'll tell me she wants me to bring my friends over more often because I'm never home and I never have anyone over, then the day I do bring them over she tells me that she's sick of feeding everyone all of the time and that my friends are always over the house.... In the course of the past year I can think of all of 3 times when I had friends over while she was home to see, and accounting for the times she wasn't there I had friends over MAYBE a total of 6 or 7 times.

This is an official damned if you do, damned if you don't situation... I've had just about enough of it.

I've been told that if I leave the house at all that my car keys (for the car she didn't pay for) are going to be taken and my insurance cancelled on me...

Going to try to get some cleaning done since I'm stressed and full of energy anyway. It'll be one less thing I'll have to hear about.

Wish me luck... or start saving up some bail money

- Crash

Who and when was your first kiss?

His name was John Victor and we were 5 :)

Ask me anything :)

If you could go back in time 10 years and tell your younger self something, what would it be?

Don't spend all the money from your first job on your first boyfriend, put it in savings. Make sure you wear your retainer (even though it's gonna hurt) Focus more on school! When you go to court when you're 12 make sure you're case is better prepared. Don't let your mom get rid of Tchai, the family will always regret it. Start saving money so that when it comes to buy a car you have enough for that 1965 Mustang you're going to be drooling over. When you go to Durfee don't fall for what will inevitably be a string of crappy relationships, but seek out the who now 10 years later, I wish I had met then. Other than that keep your nose clean and don't get in trouble. Also, when you go to London in 2007, buy that white coat at Zara.

Ask me anything :)

If you could go only to one restaurant for the next five years, which would it be?

Olive Garden, but if I didn't have to pay for it I would pick Melting Pot

Ask me anything :)

What was your favorite book as a child?

I loved all of Shel Silverstein's works as a kid (still do) I'm not good at picking favorites though

Ask me anything :)

If you could be invited to one person's birthday party, whose would it be?

Ah! That's a hard one! Johnny Depp would probably top the list, but there are so many people's I would go to

Ask me anything :)

Would you rather date a lot of different people, or be in a committed relationship?

I would much rather have a committed relationship. I'd rather have someone I love and trust than keep bouncing around from person to person.

Ask me anything :)

Would you rather be a vampire or a werewolf?

Vampire :)

Ask me anything :)

What was the best concert you went to?

Wow that's tough.... most fun was Semi Precious Weapons with Shiny Toy Guns

Ask me anything :)

In the beginning...

I've had blogs before, but I never really used them or when I did it was kind of useless. I haven't kept a diary (save for a few random entries) since I was a little kid, so why now? To be honest, I don't know why. I think maybe I just want to use this to keep track of the happenings of my life so I can look back. Anyone who knows me, knows I always have a lot to say, so now it's just putting pen to paper... or finger to keyboard I suppose.

Let's see where life goes from here...